One of the best articles I've read here in a while. I was bullied many years ago in elementary school. It stays with you. It doesn't matter how well liked you become later, it's there
It has been 40 years since I experienced the daily bullying in middle school. 3 years of hell has taken me decades of work to get where I am today. Unfortunately school drama led to work drama. I’ve recently been able to understand more about workplace bullying and that it doesn’t belong either. I put up with it because ya know, I needed a job. Now I am much better at standing up for myself, and for feeling my true worth as I go through my days. I am mostly happy and thriving. But I still struggle with triggers that make me freeze. I realize what is happening now. And I have compassion for myself, but I really would like to learn how to avoid the freeze response once and for all. (Somatic exercises are helping).
Rosemary, that’s such a long road to healing, and I admire how much work you’ve put into standing up for yourself and reclaiming your worth. It’s incredible that you’re mostly happy and thriving now—what a testament to your strength. Triggers can be so frustrating, especially when they bring back that old freeze response. I love that you’re using somatic exercises; they can be a game-changer. Sending you so much support as you keep moving forward. ❤️
Beautiful, I love Salwa! So many things here rang true for me. I was bullied in many areas of my life when I was a child and so many of them linger on today. I have a really hard time trusting people, believe in myself, seeing my own worth. It's a long journey and I am so grateful to read about how others are navigating these challenges.
Genevieve, that means so much—thank you! ❤️ It really is a long journey, and I completely get how those experiences can linger in ways we don’t always expect. Trust, self-worth, and belief in yourself take time to rebuild, but just being aware of it is already a powerful step. You’re not alone in this, and I’m so glad we can share these experiences and navigate them together. Sending you so much love. 💛
I can relate to so much of what you wrote here. For me, most of the bullying I experienced happened in the workplace. I imagine those people were also bullies throughout their school years and just found new ways and places to bully others well into adulthood. Thank you for sharing your experience 🙏
I’m so sorry you went through that. Workplace bullying is just as harmful, and you’re right—some people never outgrow those behaviors, they just adapt them to new environments. You deserved better. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Jennifer, thank you so much! It really is such a deeply impactful experience, and I appreciate the work you do as a therapist in helping people heal from it. These conversations matter, and I’m grateful to be part of them. ❤️
What a beautiful piece. I was the fat kid at school. I know all about bullying. I still feel some of the lingering effects that you mention. What a devastating waste of time. Healing is a constant work in progress. Thanks for sharing this.
Marcia, thank you for sharing that. Bullying or any form of abuse leaves marks that can linger for years, but recognising that healing is an ongoing process is so important. You’re not alone in this, and I’m glad this piece resonated with you. Sending you kindness on your journey. ❤️
Even as much as I have healed, learned that men should give each other some crap the anger is still there. Empathy still wins out but no issue standing up for myself. I’ll tap that anger when needed and use it to swing back. I like to think you can survive the mean bullying. Took me years though sometimes my response is pretty harsh. Neuro linguistic programming and mimicking behaviors of certain movie stars till I was congruent helped. Everything is a skill!
Mike, it sounds like you’ve found a way to channel that past hurt into something that empowers you rather than holds you back. Healing doesn’t mean losing your edge—it means knowing when and how to use it. Love that perspective!
Your line, “Healing isn’t about never feeling the weight of it again. It’s about learning how to carry it differently,” stopped me cold. That’s it, isn’t it? The whole arc of recovery, in one breath.
So many of us walk through life still hearing the echoes of childhood cruelty—mistrusting praise, bracing for rejection, shrinking our presence just to feel safe. Your words make it okay to admit that healing is nonlinear, and that sometimes strength means being tender with the younger version of ourselves still hurting inside.
I am 48. Each year of elementary and middle school, we moved to an entirely new state due to my dad's work. That part I wouldn't trade for the world. What I would like to forget are all the faces of the people who bullied me because I wasn't one of them. The greaser kid in 4th grade who made me crawl under my desk because he wouldn't let me by in the row to get to my seat and how everyone laughed. The two girls who followed me around the playground in second grade hitting me in the back with their hands held together. All the faces of the people who told me I didn't belong because I didn't "grow up with them" and that I was an outsider.
Yes, if you have not been bullied, you don't understand.
Even as an adult. I had someone close to me start laughing at me and told me I had "big armpits." While they didn't mean anything by it, they were a bully to others growing up and they have no clue what that did to me.
Words stick. Bullying sticks. Even more so than rubber cement or super glue. No, you never 'grow up and get over it.'
One of the best articles I've read here in a while. I was bullied many years ago in elementary school. It stays with you. It doesn't matter how well liked you become later, it's there
Jane, that means so much—thank you. And you’re right, it stays with you in ways people don’t always understand. Sending you kindness. ❤️
Thanks so much
It has been 40 years since I experienced the daily bullying in middle school. 3 years of hell has taken me decades of work to get where I am today. Unfortunately school drama led to work drama. I’ve recently been able to understand more about workplace bullying and that it doesn’t belong either. I put up with it because ya know, I needed a job. Now I am much better at standing up for myself, and for feeling my true worth as I go through my days. I am mostly happy and thriving. But I still struggle with triggers that make me freeze. I realize what is happening now. And I have compassion for myself, but I really would like to learn how to avoid the freeze response once and for all. (Somatic exercises are helping).
Rosemary, that’s such a long road to healing, and I admire how much work you’ve put into standing up for yourself and reclaiming your worth. It’s incredible that you’re mostly happy and thriving now—what a testament to your strength. Triggers can be so frustrating, especially when they bring back that old freeze response. I love that you’re using somatic exercises; they can be a game-changer. Sending you so much support as you keep moving forward. ❤️
Beautiful, I love Salwa! So many things here rang true for me. I was bullied in many areas of my life when I was a child and so many of them linger on today. I have a really hard time trusting people, believe in myself, seeing my own worth. It's a long journey and I am so grateful to read about how others are navigating these challenges.
Genevieve, that means so much—thank you! ❤️ It really is a long journey, and I completely get how those experiences can linger in ways we don’t always expect. Trust, self-worth, and belief in yourself take time to rebuild, but just being aware of it is already a powerful step. You’re not alone in this, and I’m so glad we can share these experiences and navigate them together. Sending you so much love. 💛
I can relate to so much of what you wrote here. For me, most of the bullying I experienced happened in the workplace. I imagine those people were also bullies throughout their school years and just found new ways and places to bully others well into adulthood. Thank you for sharing your experience 🙏
I’m so sorry you went through that. Workplace bullying is just as harmful, and you’re right—some people never outgrow those behaviors, they just adapt them to new environments. You deserved better. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you ❤️🩹❤️🩹
I experienced bullying when I was young and it can be so impactful. I’m so glad you’re speaking about this topic. As a therapist, it is so important.
Jennifer, thank you so much! It really is such a deeply impactful experience, and I appreciate the work you do as a therapist in helping people heal from it. These conversations matter, and I’m grateful to be part of them. ❤️
Bullying (at any age) is a form of psychological violence and can cause trauma, which is why it should be thwarted quickly and unreservedly.
Adina, absolutely. Bullying isn’t just “harmless” or something to brush off—it has real, lasting effects. It deserves to be taken seriously, always.
What a beautiful piece. I was the fat kid at school. I know all about bullying. I still feel some of the lingering effects that you mention. What a devastating waste of time. Healing is a constant work in progress. Thanks for sharing this.
Marcia, thank you for sharing that. Bullying or any form of abuse leaves marks that can linger for years, but recognising that healing is an ongoing process is so important. You’re not alone in this, and I’m glad this piece resonated with you. Sending you kindness on your journey. ❤️
Beautiful, Salwa :) Thank you 🤍
Saved! Full of meaty information.
Michele, glad you found it valuable! Hope it helps in some way. ❤️
Even as much as I have healed, learned that men should give each other some crap the anger is still there. Empathy still wins out but no issue standing up for myself. I’ll tap that anger when needed and use it to swing back. I like to think you can survive the mean bullying. Took me years though sometimes my response is pretty harsh. Neuro linguistic programming and mimicking behaviors of certain movie stars till I was congruent helped. Everything is a skill!
Mike, it sounds like you’ve found a way to channel that past hurt into something that empowers you rather than holds you back. Healing doesn’t mean losing your edge—it means knowing when and how to use it. Love that perspective!
Your line, “Healing isn’t about never feeling the weight of it again. It’s about learning how to carry it differently,” stopped me cold. That’s it, isn’t it? The whole arc of recovery, in one breath.
So many of us walk through life still hearing the echoes of childhood cruelty—mistrusting praise, bracing for rejection, shrinking our presence just to feel safe. Your words make it okay to admit that healing is nonlinear, and that sometimes strength means being tender with the younger version of ourselves still hurting inside.
I am 48. Each year of elementary and middle school, we moved to an entirely new state due to my dad's work. That part I wouldn't trade for the world. What I would like to forget are all the faces of the people who bullied me because I wasn't one of them. The greaser kid in 4th grade who made me crawl under my desk because he wouldn't let me by in the row to get to my seat and how everyone laughed. The two girls who followed me around the playground in second grade hitting me in the back with their hands held together. All the faces of the people who told me I didn't belong because I didn't "grow up with them" and that I was an outsider.
Yes, if you have not been bullied, you don't understand.
Even as an adult. I had someone close to me start laughing at me and told me I had "big armpits." While they didn't mean anything by it, they were a bully to others growing up and they have no clue what that did to me.
Words stick. Bullying sticks. Even more so than rubber cement or super glue. No, you never 'grow up and get over it.'
Thanks for sharing.