I'm so sorry about all of those horrible experiences, and I'm so glad you are here and finished with that stress. My heart goes out to you. I really understand first-hand the hyper vigilance that just won't let your mind relax, the running scenarios in your head. Thank you for sharing your experience and tips you have found that help. You are truly an inspiration; after all you have experienced with the worst aspects of humanity, you still have compassion and care about those struggling. Thank you. 💚
First, let me start by expressing how sorry I am for what you’ve endured and how proud I am of you for doing what it takes to be better today. But also for having the courage to write about it all.
My therapist named something for me today too. Hypervigilance. The word for what you described so precisely here: a brain that never received the signal that the original danger had passed.
Your experience of it came from a danger that was real and physical and terrifying. Mine came from something quieter. But the nervous system’s response is remarkably similar. Still scanning. Still running scenarios. Still bracing for what probably will not come.
Thank you for writing about this with such honesty. It helped me understand my own experience better today! 🙏🧡
What happened to you was horrific and no one has to go through any of it.
It doesn't seem fair that you're the one getting assaulted when you take in violent people for something bad that they know they did. Not to mention the schizophrenia diagnosis which must have made it brutal to be inside your head.
I'm happy and proud to see that you're past all those times and are taking care of yourself now. Never stop.
Thank you for always supporting me. The thing with violent people is that that’s their response to anything that goes wrong in their life. If it hurts, last out. If it’s stressful, attack something.
Hyper vigilance drives my life after finding my brother after he killed himself. Maybe, just maybe if I am vigilant enough nothing bad will happen again. I am better after all these years but I know it is a part of me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If you ever want to talk about it, I am trained in helping people with their grief and I have a particular focus on grief caused through suicide.
My hypervigilance was caused by other things, but I really resonated with what you wrote “If I am vigilant enough nothing bad will happen again.” I’m sorry you know this kind of pain.
What a powerful piece this was Leon. And your list of things that heal was profound. Thank you!
Thank you so much!
I'm so sorry about all of those horrible experiences, and I'm so glad you are here and finished with that stress. My heart goes out to you. I really understand first-hand the hyper vigilance that just won't let your mind relax, the running scenarios in your head. Thank you for sharing your experience and tips you have found that help. You are truly an inspiration; after all you have experienced with the worst aspects of humanity, you still have compassion and care about those struggling. Thank you. 💚
Thank you so much that really means a lot and I’m sorry you also experience that kind of hyper vigilance.
I saw this and thought of you again, Leon.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DY193ETgQpM/?igsh=MThwaW5iZjZ2bXlvbw==
Thanks for sending me this. Very moving.
First, let me start by expressing how sorry I am for what you’ve endured and how proud I am of you for doing what it takes to be better today. But also for having the courage to write about it all.
My therapist named something for me today too. Hypervigilance. The word for what you described so precisely here: a brain that never received the signal that the original danger had passed.
Your experience of it came from a danger that was real and physical and terrifying. Mine came from something quieter. But the nervous system’s response is remarkably similar. Still scanning. Still running scenarios. Still bracing for what probably will not come.
Thank you for writing about this with such honesty. It helped me understand my own experience better today! 🙏🧡
Thank you I’m really glad it helped!
It sure did. Thank you for sharing it all 🙏
What happened to you was horrific and no one has to go through any of it.
It doesn't seem fair that you're the one getting assaulted when you take in violent people for something bad that they know they did. Not to mention the schizophrenia diagnosis which must have made it brutal to be inside your head.
I'm happy and proud to see that you're past all those times and are taking care of yourself now. Never stop.
Thank you for always supporting me. The thing with violent people is that that’s their response to anything that goes wrong in their life. If it hurts, last out. If it’s stressful, attack something.
Violence is like their first language.
Every time I read your work. I know I'm going to make it. It is just a tough season now, but each little step gets us closer to calm.
I'm so grateful for your writings. 🙏🏼
Thank you so much that means a lot to me. You are definitely going to make it. It’s just a question of “when” not “if”.
Hyper vigilance drives my life after finding my brother after he killed himself. Maybe, just maybe if I am vigilant enough nothing bad will happen again. I am better after all these years but I know it is a part of me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If you ever want to talk about it, I am trained in helping people with their grief and I have a particular focus on grief caused through suicide.
My hypervigilance was caused by other things, but I really resonated with what you wrote “If I am vigilant enough nothing bad will happen again.” I’m sorry you know this kind of pain.
Thank you.