This is so wonderfully written. Comprehensive too. I was reading and nodding along. It's so healing to hear a steady voice who has walked the walk and "gets it." Who continues to be honest about still walking the walk! No careful or weighed responses needed with you. Sigh.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Invisible illnesses are often judged harshly, but they can't see under the armor... they can't see a nervous system ravaged by trauma. You are not a lone.
Thank you for writing this Leon. Stigma prevents people from seeking help. Stigma isolates. Stigma causes deaths. It nearly cost me my life... I was afraid of people finding out that I wasn't in fact who they had thought me to be that I struggled alone beyond the point of safety. When I returned to my life after a month in a mental health unit I found I had lost most of my friends... Honestly, I don't miss these people, but it does highlight the size of the stigma attached to depression. 🤍
Thank you and I’m sorry to hear about your own painful experiences. I’m so glad you survived and that you don’t miss those people. It’s tragic that they can’t look past a label (a label that they don’t even understand). Why can’t people just talk to us if they have any fears or questions? I love the opportunity to discuss the reality of mental illness and to put people’s mind at rest that there’s nothing to fear from us.
I hope it’s ok with you Satoru that I translate your comment so that others here can benefit from your insight:
“When someone is branded as having a "mental disorder," even if they rebel or express an opinion, they are told, "That kind of confrontational attitude is characteristic of the illness." How to deal with stigma is a very difficult topic.”
Exactly. I find this even worse if you have a psychotic illness like schizophrenia. You can try and argue that you don’t have schizophrenia, but that’s exactly what someone with schizophrenia would say and the doctors make a note of it!
Leon, it's heartbreaking to read your real-life experiences of judgment and exclusion. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I developed PTSD in my twenties, but I never shared the diagnosis much and just did my best to get on with my life, while suffering inside.
Mental health "professionals" who never take the time to talk to you and don't even treat you as human are not professionals but monsters.
I'm terribly sorry that you weren't treated good enough by those assholes. The ones who were supposed to help you caused you more psychological harm and in no world is that fair.
I relate to such inhuman treatment. I had a psychiatrist whose smugness I still can't get out of my head. The hospital staff was kissing he walked on but all I wanted to do was to kill him.
I'm proud of you for surviving all that. I'm proud of you for talking about it and educating us about it. And I'm proud of you for staying your true self.
Thank you so much always for your kind and insightful comments!
Part of my recovery has also been the grief that if only I had met my current therapist all those years ago, all this suffering might have been avoided. Sadly all I met were egotistical, grossly incompetent people.
As an ex employee advocate I dealt with a lot of mental illness and employers dismissing it like their well-being was nothing. One said "whatever trend is going around"
It's not a trend, we're just more aware and open now.
This is especially difficult as you fight your own battles, also.
The hardest thing is that it's mental..... psychic, spiritual even.
A broken leg is easier to acknowledge than a broken mind. You can see it. But it should never be minimised just because you can't.
Exactly. My half sister has cerebral palsy. When my dad was alive he said there was a huge difference in how people treated her depending on whether she was in a wheelchair.
In the wheelchair - instant sympathy. People could see the obvious disability. Out of the wheelchair - dirty looks and no understanding at all. They just thought she was spoilt and badly behaved.
Unfortunately it seems people need to be smacked in the face with an illness or disability before they recognise it. Anything “hidden” doesn’t get a look in.
Mental illness destroyed me and everyone who loves me for 23 years. I’ve seen my mother cry, beg and negotiate with the police to try and stop them taking me away.
I’ve been a horrible bastard to everyone I love. Moody, bad tempered, selfish.
My body has been ravaged by long term medication which I will soon be starting the arduous journey of reducing. I gained 6 stone in a year and have permanent heart damage.
I thought about suicide every day for those 23 years. It feels like I have been in prison - and people serve less time for murder (which btw my cousin committed when he killed his mother with an axe due to schizophrenia).
So mental illness was never my superpower and I don’t know many people who would share your view. I am now recovered, yet I sit and weep at what has been taken away from me for all those years.
Mr. Macfayden, I believe the difference between us could be age related. I am a 75 yo white bisexual mentally Ill woman and as a very self reflective individual I have been thru many iterations of myself. The fact that I have even made it to 75 is a major victory. I experienced my first dissociative episode when I was 8 yo. It was 1959. My older sister who had been mentally ill my entire life, committed suicide when I was 13. She was physically abusive to me when my parents left her to be my babysitter in the 60s. She had been groomed by a psychiatrist from her teenage years. He seduced her, got her pregnant, forced her to get an abortion, and then moved her into his house to be his partner in the early 60s. When I questioned how that could have happened, my therapist at the time told me that back then the ethical standards and the law probably didn’t have any regulations or laws prohibiting relationships between patients and medical professionals. Now of course what does this mean to me?
As I have said, I’m a 75 yo white bisexual mentally ill woman. I have been successful in masking my mental illness. I was able to live as a reasonably successful special education teacher who retired in 2013. Now that I am 75 masking is no longer a possibility for me. The fact that I am no longer in the work world has been incredibly empowering. I can be who I choose to be.
Mental illness is pernicious. For my younger brothers and sisters, I can’t give you a way to successfully navigate the world. I just keep on keeping on. Mr. McFayden and I are very representative of what you could be facing.
You’re doing an amazing job. I’m really happy that you survived and I know you must have helped many people, especially as a teacher.
For me, I have just come to the end of PTSD and as well as being deliriously happy, I am also grieving everything that mental illness took from me over 23 years. It feels like I’ve been released from prison and now I have to learn to function again.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I can only imagine your pain.
This is so wonderfully written. Comprehensive too. I was reading and nodding along. It's so healing to hear a steady voice who has walked the walk and "gets it." Who continues to be honest about still walking the walk! No careful or weighed responses needed with you. Sigh.
Thank you so much!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Invisible illnesses are often judged harshly, but they can't see under the armor... they can't see a nervous system ravaged by trauma. You are not a lone.
Thank you for writing this Leon. Stigma prevents people from seeking help. Stigma isolates. Stigma causes deaths. It nearly cost me my life... I was afraid of people finding out that I wasn't in fact who they had thought me to be that I struggled alone beyond the point of safety. When I returned to my life after a month in a mental health unit I found I had lost most of my friends... Honestly, I don't miss these people, but it does highlight the size of the stigma attached to depression. 🤍
Thank you and I’m sorry to hear about your own painful experiences. I’m so glad you survived and that you don’t miss those people. It’s tragic that they can’t look past a label (a label that they don’t even understand). Why can’t people just talk to us if they have any fears or questions? I love the opportunity to discuss the reality of mental illness and to put people’s mind at rest that there’s nothing to fear from us.
Stigma is such an ugly word for an ugly situation. Thanks for showing it in action.
Thank you.
"精神障害者"という烙印を押された場合、何かに反発して意見を言っても、「そういう風に突っかかってくるのが病気の特徴だ」と言われてしまいます。stigmaにどう向き合うかということは、とても難解なテーマです。
I hope it’s ok with you Satoru that I translate your comment so that others here can benefit from your insight:
“When someone is branded as having a "mental disorder," even if they rebel or express an opinion, they are told, "That kind of confrontational attitude is characteristic of the illness." How to deal with stigma is a very difficult topic.”
Exactly. I find this even worse if you have a psychotic illness like schizophrenia. You can try and argue that you don’t have schizophrenia, but that’s exactly what someone with schizophrenia would say and the doctors make a note of it!
Leon, it's heartbreaking to read your real-life experiences of judgment and exclusion. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I developed PTSD in my twenties, but I never shared the diagnosis much and just did my best to get on with my life, while suffering inside.
Thank you. How are you doing now?
I’m okay. I’m feeling relatively calm these days. Thanks for asking.
Mental health "professionals" who never take the time to talk to you and don't even treat you as human are not professionals but monsters.
I'm terribly sorry that you weren't treated good enough by those assholes. The ones who were supposed to help you caused you more psychological harm and in no world is that fair.
I relate to such inhuman treatment. I had a psychiatrist whose smugness I still can't get out of my head. The hospital staff was kissing he walked on but all I wanted to do was to kill him.
I'm proud of you for surviving all that. I'm proud of you for talking about it and educating us about it. And I'm proud of you for staying your true self.
Love you, Leon. 💙
Thank you so much always for your kind and insightful comments!
Part of my recovery has also been the grief that if only I had met my current therapist all those years ago, all this suffering might have been avoided. Sadly all I met were egotistical, grossly incompetent people.
Smug psychiatrists are the worst…
Such a great article, thank you for sharing! I agree with you, the stigma attached to mental illness needs to stop.
Thank you.
Thank you, again, for the insight. Particularly, "And what you can do about it."
EXCELLENT!
As an ex employee advocate I dealt with a lot of mental illness and employers dismissing it like their well-being was nothing. One said "whatever trend is going around"
It's not a trend, we're just more aware and open now.
This is especially difficult as you fight your own battles, also.
The hardest thing is that it's mental..... psychic, spiritual even.
A broken leg is easier to acknowledge than a broken mind. You can see it. But it should never be minimised just because you can't.
Exactly. My half sister has cerebral palsy. When my dad was alive he said there was a huge difference in how people treated her depending on whether she was in a wheelchair.
In the wheelchair - instant sympathy. People could see the obvious disability. Out of the wheelchair - dirty looks and no understanding at all. They just thought she was spoilt and badly behaved.
Unfortunately it seems people need to be smacked in the face with an illness or disability before they recognise it. Anything “hidden” doesn’t get a look in.
I see my mental illness as my super power. I am emotionally and mentally stronger than most most normies. Our resilience is the ultimate best!
Mental illness destroyed me and everyone who loves me for 23 years. I’ve seen my mother cry, beg and negotiate with the police to try and stop them taking me away.
I’ve been a horrible bastard to everyone I love. Moody, bad tempered, selfish.
My body has been ravaged by long term medication which I will soon be starting the arduous journey of reducing. I gained 6 stone in a year and have permanent heart damage.
I thought about suicide every day for those 23 years. It feels like I have been in prison - and people serve less time for murder (which btw my cousin committed when he killed his mother with an axe due to schizophrenia).
So mental illness was never my superpower and I don’t know many people who would share your view. I am now recovered, yet I sit and weep at what has been taken away from me for all those years.
Mr. Macfayden, I believe the difference between us could be age related. I am a 75 yo white bisexual mentally Ill woman and as a very self reflective individual I have been thru many iterations of myself. The fact that I have even made it to 75 is a major victory. I experienced my first dissociative episode when I was 8 yo. It was 1959. My older sister who had been mentally ill my entire life, committed suicide when I was 13. She was physically abusive to me when my parents left her to be my babysitter in the 60s. She had been groomed by a psychiatrist from her teenage years. He seduced her, got her pregnant, forced her to get an abortion, and then moved her into his house to be his partner in the early 60s. When I questioned how that could have happened, my therapist at the time told me that back then the ethical standards and the law probably didn’t have any regulations or laws prohibiting relationships between patients and medical professionals. Now of course what does this mean to me?
As I have said, I’m a 75 yo white bisexual mentally ill woman. I have been successful in masking my mental illness. I was able to live as a reasonably successful special education teacher who retired in 2013. Now that I am 75 masking is no longer a possibility for me. The fact that I am no longer in the work world has been incredibly empowering. I can be who I choose to be.
Mental illness is pernicious. For my younger brothers and sisters, I can’t give you a way to successfully navigate the world. I just keep on keeping on. Mr. McFayden and I are very representative of what you could be facing.
You’re doing an amazing job. I’m really happy that you survived and I know you must have helped many people, especially as a teacher.
For me, I have just come to the end of PTSD and as well as being deliriously happy, I am also grieving everything that mental illness took from me over 23 years. It feels like I’ve been released from prison and now I have to learn to function again.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I can only imagine your pain.